Slate recently had an article on”10 wildly ambitious—or just wildly misguided—movie projects that were doomed by financial difficulties, casting issues, their very premise, or, commonly enough, all three,” including a version of The Lord of the Rings starring the Beatles.

Nestled in at number eight is the following, a film project I had not heard of until now. Hey, at least it wasn’t a musical.

Half Way House
After the triumph of Good Will Hunting, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck found plenty of further success in acting, producing, and, in Affleck’s case, directing, but they have yet to film another Damon-Affleck script. Just months after GWH‘s release, they already had a project set up with Castle Rock. Affleck described Half Way House as an ensemble piece set in a home for the mentally impaired. The pair was going to play workers in the facility, at least initially. “Damon now tells Affleck he wants to play one of the retarded residents,” Variety‘s Army Archerd wrote in March 1998. “We’ve got 150 pages,” Damon told Entertainment Weekly that year, “and about five are good.” Whether he was being falsely modest or not, the film has been quietly dropped from both men’s list of future projects.

Let’s be honest: I was a complete disaster my senior year of high school, in the spring of 1998. My best friend was going to the prom with my ex-boyfriend and I was going a little crazy. And, remember 1998? Matt Damon and Ben Affleck had just skyrocketed to fame, but they weren’t the superstars they are now. This was pre-Bennifer, pre-Bourne Identity and pre-Ocean’s 11.

But let’s rewind for a second (this was still the era of VHS after all)… I was 17 and desperate for the perfect prom date.

I begged my best-guy-friend to come with me, but he didn’t want to go, period. He didn’t like to dance, it was too expensive, and anyway, he was thinking of asking the cute freshman he had a crush on. I thought maybe I could go with the guy I went with last year, a blind date arranged so that my friend and her boyfriend would have company, but he had a soccer tournament that weekend. And another acquaintance was too busy fending off previous unwanted requests to seriously consider mine.

I could only think of one other option: Matt Damon.

I did a “peoplesearch” on yahoo.com to find his email address—the Internet was still young. There were several entries for people named Matt Damon, but one of these cited residence in Hollywood, California. Mattdamon@yahoo.com, in fact. So I noted this and considered how I might convince a celebrity to travel to southern Indiana to attend my senior prom.

The email I wrote was long, and in my attempt to sound sincere, to convince Matt that I wasn’t some crazed fan, I guess, it ended up a painfully detailed self-advertisement.

I began by giving him my name, telling him I was 17 years old, where I went to school, and insisting that what I was writing wasn’t “just some ordinary piece of fan mail,” that I wasn’t the “groupie-fan-mail-type.” I told him I had tried, “in one way or another, to get five or six guys to go to the prom with me,” but that “nevertheless, I remain dateless.”

“Please consider visiting Terre Haute on April 25,” I closed. “I believe you would have a great time, and I would be thrilled to have you join me. You could even come incognito, if you wish.” I said I would understand if he was too busy, but that I would like a response either way, and if he couldn’t come, maybe he could get one of his friends—Ben, maybe—to attend the prom with me. I signed it: “Sincerely, Elizabeth Marie Erickson” and attached a senior photo I had scanned, a picture of me in a white T-shirt and overalls with an American flag backdrop.

I didn’t feel any more danger of rejection than I did when I asked the guys at school. He’s the type who’d be up for an adventure, I thought, who might get a kick out of doing something as unexpected as going to the prom with some lonely girl in Indiana.

I tell this story every once in a while and people usually assume this is the end.

But he wrote back.

That is, someone wrote back.

The subject line read: “Elizabeth, you are beautiful!” He said he was impressed I had sent him my school picture, that I looked like the front of a Wheaties box, “All American youth and healthy!”

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” he wrote, “but I must decline your prom invitation. I will be busy shooting on location that night. But I know a girl as beautiful and smart and interesting (you must be the prettiest girl in your school!) as you will have guys lined up waiting! Just choose one!”

I’ve never met Matt Damon, and I can’t be sure who answered my email. Honestly though, I’m just as grateful to the schmo who probably impersonated him as I would be to the potentially real Matt Damon, for taking the time to make a 17-year-old in Indiana feel a little less alone.

Editor’s Note: By the way, “Elizabeth” is a pseudonym… so Matt Damon, if you’re out there, don’t bother people-searching her.

New York Magazine‘s entertainment blog Vulture has delivered some delightful Damon/Affleck material over the past few days.

At the end of March, it reports, the American Cinematheque will be honoring Matt Damon in a televised event called Hollywood Salutes Matt Damon: An American Cinematheque Tribute. On hand to salute Mr. Damon: Ben Affleck, Greg Kinnear… and Bill Clinton.

Says Vulture:

Are we crazy that this sounds totally randomly awesome? Matt Damon! Three hours (or whatever) of Hollywood saluting Matt Damon. Humble, work ethic-y Matt Damon. We can’t wait to run around asking people what they’re “doing for Matt Damon night” and if they’re going to “a Matt Damon watching party” to “play Matt Damon drinking games” (drink every time someone says “Matt Damon”!). It’s going to be so hard to get a cab on Matt Damon night, so try to leave your friend’s Matt Damon party early and just find out whether Matt Damon cried at the end later when you get home. The only thing that would make this better is if it were a surprise for Matt Damon. Or if there were an interpretive-dance number about the life and career of Matt Damon. Matt Damon!

In a separate post, Vulture unearths the following video, described as “an exciting scene from the little-known 1994 special Body to Die For: The Aaron Henry Story. Acting!”

Also: Roid rage!

So bricklaying is in their blood.  This raises the question, though: which relative is the shepherd?

The Boston Herald (Media Center) made you a handy family tree graphic — cut it out and put on your refrigerator, or tuck away in your wallet for quick and easy reference.  Also, the NEHGS put out a press release [pdf] on the matter; read the relevant excerpt below:

October 9, 2009 (Boston, MA) – Researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society (NEHGS) recently uncovered family lines that link the Hollywood duo. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are 10th cousins, once removed. Both are decendents of William Knowlton, Jr. (1615-1655) of Ipswich, MA.

William Knowlton Jr. was born in England and arrived with his parents to the U.S. in the early 1630s. He was bricklayer by trade. William Jr.’s two children that Affleck and Damon descend from are Thomas and Mary Knowlton, born in the 1640s.

The Hollywood duo each descends from Knowlton’s two children; Affleck from Knowlton’s son Thomas, and Damon from daughter Mary. Working on the research were NEHGS staff genealogists Chris Child, who specializes in early New England and Presidential research, and Rhonda McClure, who has done genealogical research for many celebrities. Longtime NEHGS genealogist Gary Boyd Roberts also contributed to the research.

Affleck, who was born in California but grew up in Boston, is also related to 16 U.S Presidents including Barack Obama, as well as the late Princess Diana.

A couple of things to note:

1) The award is presented by the original odd couple. (I’m gonna have to say Matt Damon is the Felix to Affleck’s Oscar. Ben Affleck — so rough around the edges!!)

2) They’re with their moms!

3) Ben Affleck’s voice cracks like that of a thirteen-year-old.

4) Their competition for the award included Woody Allen, P.T. Anderson, and James L. Brooks.

5) It really reminds me of the end of the Sports Night episode “The Six Southern Gentlemen of Tennessee” in which Casey and Dan very enthusiastically thank all of the show’s crew members.

Gabriel Bouys / AFP / Getty Images

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

LIVE FROM DORCHESTER... getting ready to watch the Oscars, currently the group is discussing various movies titles to do twitter searches on

On 8-3-2010 00:54:25 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

So far we have searched what people are tweeting about "Drop Dead Fred" and "What About Bob?"

On 8-3-2010 00:56:00 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

I've been asked to mention that a copy of a med school textbook on high-yield histology is for sale for $5

On 8-3-2010 00:58:02 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

"This is like my prom, but hyperspeed." --someone on red carpet, #oscars

On 8-3-2010 00:58:53 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were just in a montage!! Only 30 seconds into the broadcast. #oscars

On 8-3-2010 01:01:27 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

The lady who made out with Matt Damon in The Departed looks horrible.

On 8-3-2010 01:02:29 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

George Clooney needs a haircut. #Drop Dead Fred #oscars

On 8-3-2010 01:04:56 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Matt Damon was spotted and Sandra Bullock looks "severe."

On 8-3-2010 01:05:52 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Matt Damon has a touch of gray! #touchofgray #redcarpet #agingwell #oscars

On 8-3-2010 01:10:17 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Whoa, Matthew Broderick has a major touch of gray and his wife looks like an orange Avatar. #touchofgray #agingpoorly

On 8-3-2010 01:16:03 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

"Oh my god there's Matt Damon," says Alec Baldwin.

On 8-3-2010 01:43:14 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

and Ben Affleck is mentioned instantly.

On 8-3-2010 01:43:32 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Matt Damon would have won if he played a Nazi soccer player. #oscars

On 8-3-2010 01:49:28 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Ben Affleck's first appearance: in an ad for Jimmy Kimmel Live.

On 8-3-2010 01:55:40 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Tina Fey indicates actors shouldn't ad-lib, cut to Robin Williams. Hmm.

On 8-3-2010 02:13:20 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

The Precious screenwriter just dedicated his award to Blog Will Hunting! ("People who work on a dream every day.")

On 8-3-2010 02:51:48 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Academy-award winner Robin Williams presenting. He makes a balls joke. Cut to actress Matt Damon makes out with in The Departed.

On 8-3-2010 02:56:21 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

I'm glad hip-hop dancers didn't interpret best score nominees back when GWH has nominated.

On 8-3-2010 03:54:35 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Matt Damon is presenting. So far no Ben Affleck, just J.Lo.

On 8-3-2010 04:01:52 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

The dude from Hackers/Short Circuit won an Oscar for a documentary about dolphin killing? And Matt Damon presented it?

On 8-3-2010 04:05:56 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Oscars... you've almost redeemed yourself for Titanic. Thank you for not making that mistake again.

On 8-3-2010 04:59:44 from web

blogwillhunting

(Blog Will Hunting)

Aww, The Hurt Locker actors are best friends. It's a real bromantic moment. Good night everybody!

On 8-3-2010 05:03:40 from web

Monica Almeida/The New York Times

Join us at twitter/blogwillhunting.com.  Is it still a live tweet if we’re not actually there?  I mean it will be live.  But with tape-delay.  Fine its a tape-delay-tweet.

Matt Damon recognizes the vicious heat/buzz/smear-machine warming up this time of year.  The New York Times spoke with him (and describes him as “among the most charming and down-to-earth of all the Hollywood deities”) and reports:

“My first experience with that was ‘Good Will Hunting,’” Mr. Damon said. “The week of the voting there was a story that came out in Variety that Ted Tally had written ‘Good Will Hunting.”

Mr. Tally, a screenwriter who won an Oscar for “Silence of the Lambs,” and Mr. Damon eventually worked together on “All the Pretty Horses,” but at this point they hadn’t met.

“And Ted Tally, to his credit, he called up Variety and said, ‘I want to go on the record and just say I didn’t write that movie, I wish I did but if I had written it I’d take credit for it,’” Mr. Damon said. “It kind of put the thing to bed but I remember getting called for a quote and I said I’m not gonna” – charming colloquialism – “comment. Are they calling Woody Allen and asking him if he wrote the script? They want to come look at my hard drive? I’ve been working on this script for, like, years. And then it was explained to me, that no, it’s not actually about that. It’s about just putting enough doubt in voters’ mind that they would go, ‘oh, I heard something about that movie, I’m not sure if those guys actually wrote it. What’s that – Oh, I liked ‘As Good As It Gets.’”

So, Mr. Damon’s people explained to him, “it’s the ‘As Good As It Gets’ camp,” he said. “And I was like, come on, you must be kidding me. You’re telling me it’s Jim Brooks,” the director of that movie? “’No, Jim Brooks would never do that. It’s the camp!’ Like, what does that mean? It was so stupid. I was just flabbergasted.”

Turns out the upcoming Damon-Affleck project will likely be The Trade, the story of two New York Yankees in the seventies who swapped wives.  The blogosphere is all atwitter with the notion that we may soon see the Boston duo in pinstripes.

You can thank the crackerjack photoshop staff at the MTV Movie Blog for the image above.

Thanks to Adam, for the heads up on this one.

Google image search: "Matt Ben shiny joy"

Matt ‘n’ Ben are re-forming their production company for a “first look” deal at Warner Bros. In movie lingo, “first look” refers to this exchange: “First, look – Ben, I wish you hadn’t sold my Oscar on eBay to fund Gone Baby Gone. But what the hell, let’s re-form our production company!”

Of course, I’m being unfair (and hilarious!). Affleck has become a well-respected director after Gone Baby Gone, and his next film, the highly anticipated The Town, is due in September. With his newfound clout and Damon’s ongoing credibility as an actor and a box-office draw, the timing for this thing seems right. Ready those Gerry 2 pitches …. now.

Howard Zinn (1922-2010)

Howard Zinn, an author, teacher and political activist whose book “A People’s History of the United States” became a million-selling leftist alternative to mainstream texts, died Wednesday in Santa Monica, Calif. He was 87 and lived in Auburndale, Mass.

… “A People’s History” had some famous admirers, including the actors Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. The two grew up near Professor Zinn, were family friends and gave the book a plug in their Academy Award-winning screenplay for “Good Will Hunting.”

As a math genius once said about Zinn’s People’s History of the United States, that book “will knock you on your ass.”

And, I suppose, one could regard it as something like a sequel. It’s as if Morgan accompanied Will on his cross-country road trip and we find them somewhere in the southwest. And they’ve lost their accents. And Will got a haircut. And they don’t talk much. And–OK, in spite of the superficial similarities, I guess there’s not actually much of a connection between the two movies, despite how badly I was hoping to find one.

The beginning of the film, however, does almost seem like an oblique, teasing reference to the final scene in Good Will Hunting where we watch Will’s car disappear down the highway while Afternoon Delight plays and the credits roll. Gerry opens in much the same way—a car traveling down a road, through a dry desert-scape.

It’s like we’ve picked up right where we left off! It’s Good Will Hunting, but without the Afternoon Delight!

Alas, nearly immediately it became obvious that these were not Will and Morgan that we were dealing with. Gerry aspires to be a serious, high-art film: lots of long, unbroken takes; awkwardly long close-ups; long stretches where the only soundtrack is the sound of Damon and Affleck’s feet crunching against the gravelly desert ground for whole minutes at a time; grandiose, sweeping shots of the (admittedly stunning) scenery; and a deliberate vagueness as to who exactly our characters are and what they are doing.

It starts out with a long drive, as mentioned, and then our two heroes—both named Gerry—set out on a wilderness trail. They are headed for “the thing,” but after about 45 seconds they decide to “fuck the thing” and turn back. Unfortunately, within moments they manage to become spectacularly lost amidst an ever-changing backdrop of mountains, ravines, and desert scrub. No spoilers here, but you can probably imagine how this will end.

As for the script, I imagine it’s probably about 3 pages long—there isn’t much dialogue, and I got the impression that most of it was improvised.

Certainly, this is no Good Will Hunting, but it isn’t bad. I guess you could say my taste in film veers more towards the popular than the high-art, but in the end I still appreciated this film and its intentions. It’s earnest and thoughtful and interesting, and visually very beautiful.

And I bet Will Hunting would have loved it.

Regarding the inclusion of the reference in the film, Damon has told The Boston Herald about his first exposure to Zinn’s work in fifth grade:

My mother had read me the passages about Columbus, that two years after Columbus discovered America, more than 100,000 Indians were dead. And I wondered, ‘How is this guy so celebrated that we take a day off from school to bask in his greatness?’

There was a whole other side to the story. What Columbus did, coming here, was a big achievement, but there was more to the story. And that was a great lesson to get at an early age.

In revisiting Good Will Hunting one of my reactions is always, dude, what’s with the hair?

Seemingly incongruent with Will’s character as a lower class, no-frills, anti-elitist, true-blue guy from Southie — his hair is always perfectly coiffed, gently gelled, and always bounces back into place.  It’s like a Vidal Sassoon ad.  Watch the fight scene.  His hair whips back and around in slow motion, like that of the best of Loreal models. 

Perhaps he just gives his hair a lot of attention.  Is that why he always does math in the mirror? 

Or maybe he’s just unshowered and his oily, voluminous hair is just a part of who he is?  Like his inborn gift of mathematical skill, he didn’t choose this gift of beautiful bouncy hair either.  He’s sitting on yet another winning lottery ticket, and owes it to us all to be in a shampoo commercial. 

Or he just uses great shampoo?  I don’t know.  Regardless, his hair is always beautiful.

I of course don’t recall his hair being that distracting back in 1997, and so perhaps it is simply a product of the late nineties.  Will is a tough guy, but he still wants to look cool.  I suppose we can give him that.

I was trying to remember if I could think of any similar hairstyles from the era. I don’t think I need to explain the startling similarities I discovered. 

Ladies and gentleman, the Will and the Rachel. 

Ben Affleck as a T employee.

Thanks to Katherine for submitting a photo of Ben Affleck dressed as a T employee, in a new film shooting in Boston.  Unfortunately she could not illuminate what the deal was with “the state of his belt/pants,” responding “I guess we’ll have to see the movie.”

Will Affleck be texting while operating the train?  Will he save someone’s foot?  Will he yell at me for not paying my T fare even though I already paid but stepped out of the crowded car to let people out?  We shall see.

Thanks to Dave, for alerting us that “Matt Damon is NOT dead,” which we didn’t know was a possibility.  A few weeks ago the internet went crazy with the rumor he had died in the desert or something.  Associated Content cleared up the confusion, stating, “Academy Award-winning actor Matt Damon (Good Will Hunting) is not dead, but, rather, is in Venice, Italy, attending the Venice Film Festival.” 

Bollywood 91, which looks like a fake website anyway, reported a very detailed account:

Matt Damon, an American actor and philanthropist, was found dead in California’s Palo Verde mountain area on Wednesday. He was 38.

According to TMZ’s web site, Damon, who was officially reported missing Friday, was on a camping trip. His body was found by an Imperial County Sheriff’s Department deputy on Wednesday.

The cause of death is unknown.

According to TMZ.com on Wednesday, law enforcement headed into the desert near San Diego on Tuesday. That day, TMZ.com reported, “Damon sent a text message to a friend that he was out of water and needed help. There was a massive search that ended abruptly.”

On his personal blog, Damon wrote last month he was going to the desert because of his friends talking about “treasure hunting and lost gold, and my own insatiable appetite for adventure and exploration . . . I plan on going so deep into the desert, that any failure of my equipment could cost me my life.”

Later on, however, he downplayed such fears, writing, “It seems some websites have reported on the story, posting up that I might die out in the desert, or that it might be my greatest opponent yet, etc. Come on guys. It’s really common down in southern California to go out to the off-road recreation areas in the desert about an hour away from L.A. and San Diego. So my plan is to go out to the desert, do some camping, ride the motorcycle, and shoot some guns. Sounds like a lot of fun to me. A lot of people do it. This isn’t a version of Into the Wild. I’m not going out into the desert with a pair of shorts and a bowie knife to try to live off the land. I’m going fully geared up, and I’m planning on having some fun.”

Damon won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for his screenwriting in Good Will Hunting, and was nominated for his lead performance in the same film. Growing steadily in popularity from the 1997 film, he was since matched up with A-list actors in mainstream films, and today is rated among the top actors in Hollywood.

Damons agent, John Hayner, said his client led a simple life and always had an appreciation for the outdoors.

“He was always planning on going on some sort of adventure,” Hayner told TMZ.com. “And his my mom got scared and said ‘You’re moving with your auntie and your uncle in Bel-Air.’ I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said “Fresh” and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought, naw, forget it, yo holmes to Bel-Air. I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and said to the cabbie “Yo holmes smell ya later.” Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.”

Apparently no one who believed this report read the last paragraph.  Though I will now be using the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song lyrics in the place of lorem ipsum text for all future text-filler.

Thanks to Heather for forwarding the press release that Affleck and company would be shooting a scene in Harvard Square.  We thought it would cite exciting opportunities to be an extra or watch the magic happen, but apparently it was chiefly concerned with “parking restrictions.”

We received a film schedule from the folks that are currently in production of a Warner Bros. film called *The Town*. Cambridge native Ben Affleck will direct and star in the film. The film is based on Chuck Hogan’s novel, _Prince of Thieves_, a dark, heist-romance centered around Charlestown, MA.

They will be filming on Tuesday, September 15 (6AM-8PM.) In order to facilitate their production they will be parking some equipment vehicles on streets surrounding the filming location.

Filming Location:

Grendel’s Den
89 Winthrop St

There will be parking restrictions on:

*** Tuesday, September 15 (6AM-8PM) ***

JFK St from Eliot St to Mt Auburn St (both sides)

Eliot St from Bennett St to Mt Auburn St (Winthrop St. sides)

Plympton St from Mt Auburn St to Memorial Dr (both sides)

They assured us that they will do everything they can to minimize the impact of their presence on the area.

Boston.com provided some behind-the-scenes magic of sorts.  Well, a photo.  That’s cool I guess.

The Boston-based bank robber movie “The Town’’ - which has already filmed in Charlestown, Dorchester, and Fenway Park - made its way to Harvard Square on Sept. 15. Director and star Ben Affleck and his crew descended on Winthrop Park at about 6 a.m. to film outdoor scenes in front of Grendel’s Den and UpStairs on the Square.

And thanks to everyone who urgently informed me immediately upon learning about a Zipcar-sponsored outdoor screening of Good Will Hunting.  It was in a little park birthed by the Big Dig, and in true Big Dig fashion, the screening was delayed for at least an hour and a half due to technical difficulties with an electrical problem blamed on the transit authority.

The inflatable movie screen would then begin to gradually deflate. Hey  Zipcar: It's not your fault!

As per Mike’s suggestion, Dave and I got a pizza in the North End and ate it sitting in the grass, and had a fine time despite leaving before it started… if it ever started.

Or what if Will had taken one of those winning-lottery-ticket corporate-military-industrial-math jobs with the NSA that would have led him to being a super spy and losing his memory (all that math! down the drain!) and before you knew it he would be making out with Run Lola Run instead of Minnie Driver.

I think we can all agree that he at least has a less ridiculous haircut in these later incarnations, but that’s a blog post for another day.

Regardless, we all referred to him as “Matt Damon,” and talked about him kind of a lot — not because he was doing much of anything notable, but because we could call him “Matt Damon.” “Matt Damon almost bumped into me at the salad bar,” for instance.  It was a strange complication when we learned his actual name was Carlos.  That didn’t seem to fit.

He was good friends, it seemed, with this kid we called “Favorite Kid.” Favorite Kid was obviously everyone’s favorite kid. He always had a smile on his face, and was always at a table overstuffed with his new college friends. His dorm mates would light up when he entered the room. (Favorite Kid doesn’t fit in anywhere in the Good Will Hunting scheme of things, but is notable for simply being friends with Matt Damon.)

Driscoll Dining Hall, via Flickr

Last year Ted and I started seeing Ben Affleck at our gym, here in Cambridge.  He is a trainer, and is actually not Ben Affleck — similar to Carlos’s Matt Damon qualities, the distinct Affleck-look isn’t always obvious.  He is, for lack of a better term, “huskier” –  Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting is to Vince Vaughn in Swingers as Ben Affleck at the gym is to Vince Vaughn in The Break-Up, but I suppose that analogy breaks down when regarding the extra poundage in The Break-Up as due to fatty-tendencies, not from being a gym trainer.

Occasionally, though, one had to do a double take, because BEN AFFLECK IS SPOTTING SOMEONE AT THE BENCH PRESS!

Somehow these Fake Celebrity interactions are much more satisfying than actual celebrity run-ins.  (Okay, I made eye-contact with Jerry O’Connell at the Whitney Biennial — it’s my finest achievement and just a wonderful sentence to say; I would never say anything to discount its effect on my life.)  Anyway, the point is, Fake Celebrities don’t disappoint; they don’t make Daredevil.

Though I think we did once see Favorite Kid on campus one night, very wasted, yelling while stumbling, with not a smile on his face.  I suppose that was Favorite Kid’s Gigli.

All these Twitter posts about Boys Poker Night were actually about Damon and Affleck playing poker. Like, with Brad Garrett. 140 characters, your tendency to lack clarity strikes again!

Boys Playing Poker is a stupid name for a movie anyway. It’s no “Rounders”.